First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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