That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize