i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
