first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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