how can u be prego again
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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