I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I would fuck him just for his dog
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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