He is such a slut. More and more my type.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
