he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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