felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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