so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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