sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
