the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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