the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
