my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
