i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
