Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
