We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?