five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize