beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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