Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
