Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
