They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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