You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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