Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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