just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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