I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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