Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
