My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sext me about skeletons
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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