If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
