She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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