forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize