And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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