Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
