Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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