he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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