oh god the rape fog is back!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
