I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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