just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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