You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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