Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
