weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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