I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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