I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
