I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
