he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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