im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
