bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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