I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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