I don't think brook has ever known best
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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