If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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