I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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