As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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