Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
