I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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