i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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