I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sorry about my life...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
