and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
