In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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