dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
