i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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